An Ode to First Love

In the beginning the sensation was sweet while
the touches and kisses were raw sugar.
A chance to hear the echo of their voice made my
heart strings tremble with imploding love.

The serenades and e-mails of undying love were always
cute and something to look forward to.
Even more so the making up after the large fights.
Love was never too far when it came between us.

Everything was in the palm of our hands, the world,
our love, my heart beating so wildly.
We could walk to the edge of sanity, the brink
of breaking up and hold each other tight.

We began to slip, we began to settle ourselves
further apart from one another.
Our hands weren't interlocked, but we were
still holding on; that was enough.

Once your fingertips left mine, I could feel myself
falling into the abyss we so solemnly stood by.
I reached for your hand to hold me back and yet you
refused to hold me from tumbling down.

Grasping for your pant leg, you faultered and I took
you with me, screaming into your face.
We ended with a splatter and hearts were around
us, covered in the dust from the dirt.

These past two years I've felt a love for you I never
thought I could forget.
I remember it, I still remember how we were and
yet I don't feel it for you any longer.

You're a memory, an instance in my life where I learned
that your first love doesn't always last.
You're in my heart for you are still a good friend, and yet,
my love, I love you no longer.

[These past few weeks, my boyfriend and I have been getting into a lot of fights because I confessed I still loved my ex. Not in a bad way, in that first love kind of way. Tonight, as I was talking to him on the phone I realized I hold no romantic feelings for him. I have no need to make sure he agrees with everything I do. He's a good friend of mine, but that's where it ends. I do remember the love I had for him, I have the memory of us, but that's all it is. There is no recent feeling of love except a friendship.]