i've cried my tears
and over the years
i've had to learn
how to silently yearn
for those that leave
and the following heave
of emotional vomit
that's made from it

i apologize sincerely
if i appear to think clearly
my heart is in agony
from the choired symphony
of death hymns written
smiles smug and so smitten
hands clasped in desperation
dripping with perspiration

with aching knees
and sleeping in your tees
at night i long to run
just to make the sun
never return into the sky
so i don't have to say goodbye

overwhelming effort, tired sighs
this time you didn't open your eyes
forgiveness was there to start
the minute you left, so at that part
i want to tear away from my mind
because i only end to find
an empty space, a vastness of land
and phrases that don't understand
the digging pain, the early grave
and all the love that you gave

i turn to myself in the mirror
and only see you, but you're not near
my hands are fists
and like you, i have tiny wrists
that embellish my arms
like yours, that kept me from harm
laughing eyes with pain inside
that no one sees and that we hide
because we are the jesters
though the pain inside festers
and we laugh into the night
until we realize it's not all right
and then we cry into our hands
with dreams of other lands

and yet you have left me
there's nothing to see
because every me was every you
i'm left not knowing what to do
as the soundtrack changes
my life rearranges
and adapts to the empty space
and the bitter taste
of death and incessant wanting
with memories flaunting
making me salivate to the thought
of being happy with what i've got