if you asked me if i would change the

past... i would. i would refrain from

speaking of my love for you and just

swallow it back each time it would

plan to escape from my lips.

i would accept your faults and maybe

you would be able to accept mine. i

would be happy with what i have and

learn to live with that fact.

however, that is not how it occurred.

if you asked me right now if we could

try being friends again, i would

have to politely decline because i

become irrational when i'm with you.

if you asked me if i ever stopped

caring, i would reply with a soft "no"

and be on my way; quickening my

pace so as to stop my heart from

running out of my mouth.

if you asked me if i ever stopped

loving you, i would reply with an

angry "never" because once you

love someone, that never goes away.

however, i would not think for one

second that we could rehash and

reconstruct the thing we once were

and that would slowly tear me

apart; more so than the fact i'll never

stop loving you, that i've never

stopped caring.

i would not put myself in front

of that army tank for the mere idea

that we could ever be anything

greater than we once were.

& maybe that's growing up.... knowing

that there was once greatness and

having that be just enough.