i take the next step only to slip on the

wet stone. i tumble from the near top

of the staircase back down to the bottom.

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch

a pail of water. jack fell down and

broke his crown and jill came

tumbling after. at least jack had someone

to tumble after him. someone to

empathize with him over his broken

crown.

i tumble and fall and it feels like forever

with the bumps and bruises that

seem to flourish on my skin. blooming

cuts and gaping holes to complete

the asymmetry of my body. i feel

like alice in wonderland except

this land is far from wonderful. far

from anything i would have dreamt.

i get angry at everything but myself.

i blame everything but myself. though

it's me that tumbles, it's me that is

wounded throughout this entire

debacle.

i listen to sad or angry songs in

hopes this feeling will leave me. so

i won't feel so invaded and taken

aback by these feelings slowly

creeping into me. the indifference.

the anger. the blame. the sadness.

i'm unprotected.